The history of every country is the one and only and joins the people, who live in this country. The magazine “Maxim” remembers the good old times and collected the things that thrill in our hearts and excite the feeling of the nostalgia.
- Pioneer ball.
This simplified under the feeble childish bodies variant of the volleyball appeared in the 1930s. When this kind of the Soviet childish sport developed mainly only the prehensile body function, at the same time it was incredibly democratic. Almost everybody was able to play the pioneer ball: boyhood, girlhood, thick, ones with the dystrophy, mental defectives, barnacled ones. There were not shines in the pioneer ball, because it was impossible to play it well (one could play very badly, but that is quite another story). Up to now, the Russian children in the Turkish and Spanish hotels amazed the staff, playing their enigmatic game.
- Trust-based ticket barrier.
That is where they are closed, the roots of the national psychology. Only our ticket barriers operate on the principle of the carnivorous plants. They hide in the darkness of the iron box, creating your illusion of full freedom and safety. But at any attempt of the illegal infiltration their claws appose on the trespasser body – on the jugular. Well, we do not find the road less traveled. We do not trust it from a child.
- Caramelized milk.
Caramelized concentrated milk hangs around the foreign supermarkets too – in the department of all kinds ingredients for the confectionary. But to the taste, to the view and to the smack it is quite the wrong thing, differing from our caramelized milk, which you boiled in the cooking pot yourself during three hours, and then you took away from the walls and from the floor. After that, you abstracted yourself slightly watching the final cup match of Europe.
- Foot cloths (portyanki)
“The foot cloths were, are and will be! – administrative commandant of the armed power, the General of the Army Vladimir Isakov informed somehow in his interview for the press. – Because the synthetic material is very unhealthy for foots, especially when it needs to run 30 kilometers in the tarpaulin boots. And the synthetic compact socks must be tailored for every soldier, otherwise the socks will shiver and will stuff the foots by gathers up to bloody callus. The Russian Army has a go at socks, really, we do not live in the Stone Age. Now then, the experiments went down in flames. That is the Jarheads, who go out of their way to jeep or to move by the helicopters, can afford to fool with the socks”. This is the way, the army management sees it. Instead everybody can bring from the army one useful experience. For example, the skill of making for oneself the socks immediately from two handkerchiefs makes the indelible impression.
- To sit down before the trip.
Our ancient ethnical superstition fables that if all members of the noisy family sit down and keep silent during a minute before the departure, so the trip will by successful. If only because just at this sacral moment they can realize in mystic way that their passports were left on the sofa, the tickets – in the bathroom, and the child was tired in the skates instead of the mitts.
- To touch wood.
As is well-known, there are a great number of the eared evil spirits around every person, who are busy, that destroy the dreams. As soon as they get to know that somebody wants to buy the horse more beneficial or to settle daughter successfully, so they go full speed to hold up prices, to spoil the girl – if only to do harm. That is why all over the earth the clever persons, who told some their wishes aloud foolishly, they touched the wood at once: the wood scares the devils, the Druids understood it still. But now, other nations lost this useful skill a little bit. But we touched the wood and will touch the wood!
- Bath besom.
It looks like more the tool of the torment than the enjoyment, this batch of branches with the dead leaves is more than only the unique symbol of our country, than the French ballet, than the Chinese kokoshnik or, for example, than the caviar, which all kinds Iran and Canada export in full blast. Many races have the bath-houses. But we are only, who have the bath besom.
- Birch juice.
Seemingly, the birches grow in many countries, but for some reason nobody thought how the birch juice is tasty and useful. Maybe, it is all about some gene, which we are only, who can feel the subtle odour of the sweetish ply-wood, that is so beautiful in childhood, is not it? And indeed the adult person needs the birch juice absolutely, when the foreigners visit him. Then one will be able to buy the tin of this juice and make the guest to have just the taste of our national drink good and proper, observing with the quiet enjoyment his face at this point in time.
- The quass.
Let the seeder, the ancestor of the quass, was invented in Mesopotamia – today the quass is as rare as hen`s teeth in Egypt, in Iran, in any other country of the world. Only we have. And those scoundrels, who over the last years fell into the habit to sell the fizzy drinks “on basis of quass”, must be simply sunk in the wash-basin with their production.
The washer, which weights 300 grams, which does not practically take the electric and does not sink the neighbors from below, was born in Tomsk City, in the research and manufacturing association “Retona”. Simply, you put it in the wash-basin with the water and clothes, add some wash powder and rest all you want. While you take care of your business, “Retona” takes care of its business: it treats heartily the clothes by the ultrasonic waves, it creates the micro-bubbles, which separate the dirt from the string of the cloth. Then you have only to rinse the linen good and proper, to give a lick and a promise manually or to remove with the help of the bleacher the most ingrained spots and to wring clothes well. The million of people has already bought this great invention. So, besides, “Stone soup” is also the Russian fairy tale.
- Sunflower seeds.
It is the riddle, how we managed to bring the sunflower seeds eating in the rank of the ancient national tradition, which were delivered to us 200 years or so ago. Nevertheless, this plant became integrated in our culture such, that even the coached historians can not find the answer and can be mistaken. For example, in the book of the outstanding writer and historian Boris Akunin “Altyn – Tolobas” we can find the beggar girl, who husks the sunflower seeds, and we do not be confused that in the description 1682 the forward – minded Netherlandish and French gardener began to divorce this exotic flower a moment ago.
- Nominative of address.
At one time, it was present in many Indo-European languages, but then it degenerated in many ones. But we saved it carefully. Truly speaking, we changed a little bit. If formerly we widened the word by the additional “e” at the end referencing to the person (“knyazhe”, “cheloveche”), so in the modern Russian language the nominative of address is, vice versa, reduction in the last vowel: “Zin, Zin”, “Look here, Pashk”, “Lekh, Lekh!”.
- The Old New Year.
The Europe passed from using of the Julian calendar to the Gregorian one by the close of the XVI century, but Russia – only in the early 20th century. However, the Greek church refused flatly to participate in that ugliness. That was no big deal (at long last, the all branches of the Eastern Christianity celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January), but we had also the atheistic revolution, which put Christmas down the historic drain, and which made the uppermost holiday of the year not Christmas, but neighboring New Year, attaching to it all former Christmas attributes such as Christmas trees, burning stars and the Magus gifts.
As a result, there was the mash like salade Olivier in the mind of the people and we latched on to the wondrous wealth – even to three holiday weeks, beginning with the western Christmas and ending by a little bit sad holiday – The Old New Year, which has even the name – belongs to impossible but living things.
- The strig-bag.
It is unknown, when the early man realized for the first time to join the animal tendons such a way, that they formed the cellated basin, which one could put it inside the pocket in the case if you would find out the sausage queue in short supply, gitting home from work. At the same time, it is known how the name of favorite Soviet bag appeared. For the firs time, it was sounded in the Raykin`s monologue in 1935. “Here is the strig-bag, – said his personage, waving before the audience by the above-mentioned thing. – The strig-bag, I shall bring in it something homeward”.
- The address is vice versa.
What is the more important – personality or state? Individuality or society? Unit or system? While the philosophers wrestled with these global questions, the Soviet post decided them long ago. Only our address begins from the country, then towns come, the street, the house and finally, the combination of letters, which you became accustomed to consider as your personal call sighting. From the general to the special, as it were. In all other country, first of all you inform the postal service, that you need John Smith, and only then you point out the coordinates of that place, where John Smith lives usually. Therefore, it is easier to work as the postman in our country.
- Absorbent carbon.
The carbon has the absorbent qualities and at the same time reduces the environment acor – what the doctor ordered. So, it remedies the stomach around the world. But the prudishly adapted, foreign doctors and pharmacists disguise the initial element in every way, addind to the carbon any additives and exposing it to any transformations (nobody never understands from what this white tablets or the pink pearl was made). And only in our country the honest sellers pack in the pharmaceutical drug unit the black, of the most awesome appearance tablets, smearing the mouth and the fingers. At the same time it helps!
- The television broadcastings: “What? Where? When?” and “Club of the Funny and Inventive”
There are panel games and emulations on TV more, than you can eat. But only two games are ours, the original designs, the scripts of others were retired by the television repairmen in the foreign companies. Only two. Therefore, they are the best and the most favorite ones.
- The imblueing easter eggs by the onion skins.
Of course, all it is because of the poverty. Usually the Russian farmer did not have enough money for the gold latten and honeyed paints, so the beggarhood painted the eggs with the help of that was in the way – the onion skins. Sometimes, the eggs were still wound by the strings in order the merry pattern came off. But at the same time, the egg, which was well-boiled in the onion solution, was more tasty the common one, especially if the shard was shaken a little bit.
- The glass-holders.
At the time, when the glass cost at a wickedly high rate, the glass-holders were run deep everywhere – as the armor and the bent for the unstable, expensive glass. When the glass began to cost dog-cheap, the glass-holders said good-bye to the humanity, took ship and sailed with the beautiful songs in the dreamland.
That was everywhere, instead one very big country. The people had there to travel by trains as long as month of Sundays. As is well-known, on the way, everyone sets mint to tea, moreover in the country, we talk of, the tea-drinking became the national tradition. And it emerged there, that it was difficult to treat without the glass-holders in the shaky train: it is ungratefully, when you will be treated with boiling water. For all that, we got used that we had to drink the tea using the glass-holders, that this drink was dished up in the houses in the same way.
- The buckwheat.
In spite of the fact that the root “grech” make us to scent the Greek spy in this porridge, it is ours without doubt. Only in one place, in Altai, the ancient evidences of the buckwheat intaking by the human were found. There were a great number of the petrified grains of the buckwheat in the graves and in the man sites. It would seem, just from Altai the buckwheat widened along Asia – truly speaking, without much effect. Only the Japanese and the Chinese saved it partially in their diet, adding the pulverized buckwheat to the meal, but the most races never ate it for sure.
The dieting experts think: all matter is that one has to get use to eat the buckwheat as a child, otherwise the adult person, tasting the buckwheat porridge for the first time, will feel the bitter taste and the chemical aftertaste. So, apart from us, nobody eats it for sure and nobody can eat it. In spite of the fact, that the buckwheat is sold in some shops of the biological food in Europe and USA, but it is impossible to look at these packages with dry eyes. They have the rare buckwheat: green, shattered and wholly bad.
21. The doors, which are opened inside.
The legend about the fact, that in USSR the doors of the apartments were opened inside because it was more convenient for the Committee for State Security to break in the process of the arrest, is only the legend. The people opened the doors for the Committee for State Security single-handed – gently and helplessly. But their arrangement is the usual thing for the north regions. Where there was a snowfall of some meters on the staircase overnight, you understand very quickly, how the doors must be hung, if you are going to get out of the house till the spring coming.
- The pickle-juice.
There are many pickles. You will never find just the pickle-juice anywhere. Only we have. It is darkly, why the export was not set going up to now, the tankers do not rip, the pickle-juice pipes were not laid. You would think, that only we are such drinkers. Or there was nobody, who was ready to risk Prometheus` liver, who would crook our secret and would give it to the crapulence bit humanity, was not there?
- On the 8th of March and on the 23d of February.
Nobody has such paired holidays, unless it be China, where “the boy holiday” and “the girl holiday” correspond to our main sexual holidays a little bit. But they are only for children there, but we have for everyone. Nobody looks at the original meaning of these data long ago. In the bread-winning women day, even that women receive the presents, who do not work even 5 minutes in their life, and on the date of the Russian Army, nothing pulls the most heroic refuse army through the new socks, neckties and shavers in their private collection.
- Green antiseptic.
Maybe, there is no house in our country, where at least a small glass of the green antiseptic would not be present. The magic remedy: cover – and all things must pass. Every day the hundreds of the miracle-working small glasses fly away from “domodedovych” and “sheremetyevych”. They fly in out-of-the-way parts, to the wild people, who do not know, what the green antiseptic is. On examination the western doctors have already learnt to distinguish the Russian children finding out the enigmatic green spots on the body. And as soon as they have learnt – they have lifted voice, because the children happened to be covered with such mixture, which it was not to cover yourself, but it was severely to look upon from far.
There are only teratogens with the carcinogens. Ever since, some malicious western agencies claim to forbid the green antiseptic manufacturing over and over again. But in the country, where up to now the midwifery guide recommends to cover the nursing mothers nipples by the green antiseptic (against disruptions), one can estimate such offers as extreme blasphemy and even as dirty act a little. Because it is yet the attempt upon the basic concepts.
- Siberian pine tree nuts.
Siberian pine tree nuts are the most useful nuts. In order to that they can come at the table of every citizen of the country, this country has to have many thousands of square kilometers of the boreal forest. But it is impossible to grow the Siberian pine tree nuts industrially. Or they will have to be sold at the indecent price: Siberian pine tree needs too many space to produce the first dozen of the decent strobiles 50 years on. Truly speaking, now we export Siberian pine tree nuts, but nobody hurries to buy them massively abroad: this exotic fruit is very unaccustomed for the local buyers.
Article by: http://www.sovietboots.com/